A Very Truly Tragic Romance (1990)
Lisa Schumacher (poem)
Joel Schumacher (screenplay)
Genre: Drama / Romance / Sobsploitation / Infantlike Handsome Men (more)
Tagline: He's dying of cancer, but she will make him want to live of cancer!
Plot Summary: Jennifer Skylar is hired as a caretaker for a wealthy man dying from cancer, but when she realizes he can't get up and can never betray her she falls madly in love with him in a vague, non-threatening romance that barely involves physical love and then only in a really non-icky way so you don't have to (more) (view trailer)
Plot Keywords: Woman with a Puppet / Hair on a Puppet / Comb a Puppet / Puppet Brushing (more)
User Comments: YO I SAW THIS SHIT FOR REAL AT THE SHOW WAY BACK WITH DARNYL AND P-POPPER AND IT DAMN NEAR MAKE A NIGGA EYE FALL UP OUT OF HIS HEAD I WAS CRYING SO (more)
User Rating: 5.5 / 10 (2,733 votes)
Cast overview, first billed only:
Geena Davis ... Jennifer Skylar
Bill Pullman ... Walter Puffin
Shelly Long ... Mona Armstrong-Puffin
Omar Sharif ... Dr. Baht Nuesef
Jeff Fahey ... Hunk Beauregard
Also Known As:
Cancer Day! (Jpn)
Die Sobbenwerken (Ger)
Film Saffron 16 (Xej)
Runtime: 126 mins / Interminable (men only)
Language: Tugged Heartstrings
Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1:100
Sound Mix: DJ Desmond "Dee" Jay of DJ & DJ's DJs
MOVIEmeter: 5 Billion since the diagnosis scene why?
Certification: UK: Queen's List / Japan: Panty Vend Only / Geena Davis: In it / Mileena Davis: Zippers up the front / Hallmark Channel: 24/7 / USA: D / Xerenej: Auburn Coda, Melt
AMDB Memorable Quotes:
Jennifer Skylar: Forget you, Hunk! I've had enough of your cheating!
(Throws some shit)
Hunk Beauregard: Come on baby, it's not how it looks. She was just helping me try on a new condom...for us...
Jennifer Skylar: There is no "us" anymore, Hunk! It's over! I'm going to go get a job babysitting some cancer homebody and there's nothing you can do to stop me!!!!
Jennifer Skylar: I'm your new nurse I'm here to help you with your cancer.
(She takes his pulse)
Walter Puffmin: Oh crap this cancer hurts a ton!
Jennifer Skylar: I know what will help you feel better...
(two gay dudes start screwing while the Jingle Dogs bark out "Silent Night")
Walter Puffin: I'm dying Jenny....
Jennifer Skylar: No you're not...you're just starting to live...
Walter Puffin: You're right...I'm living...you're making me live...I'm living through love...
This libtard terminator keeps asking for guns that don't exist and I may have to close early out of frustration.
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
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Sea of Thieves: Reduced the number of quest types from 3 to 2
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