Submitted by Bo L.
Here we have almost 12 minutes of a doughy neckbeard that sounds like Homestar Runner obsessing over Happy Meal toys that were made for little girls. After he doesn't get the specific little girl toys he wanted, he harasses the staff and then does a jump cut, after which he makes it clear that he wandered around McDonalds asking people if they'd trade THEIR little girl toys for HIS little girl toys.
He opens his little girl toys (after some difficulty) and starts brushing their tails. He then starts playing with the toys. Playing with them. A GROWN ASS, BEARDED MAN. WITH LITTLE GIRL TOYS. FOR SEVERAL MINUTES. IN PUBLIC.
We then jump cut to his house where we learn that some poor, unfortunate soul took pity upon the manchild and gave him ALL the little girl toys he wanted. A fucking PILE OF PONY TOYS MEANT FOR YOUNG FEMALE CHILDREN. Naturally, the video ends with him playing with them again.
If anyone ever, EVER asks you why the terrorists hate us, SHOW THEM THIS FUCKING VIDEO. THIS IS WHY. After seeing this, I hate us. Death to America. Death to American Imperialist Bronyism! If this were ancient Sparta, this cretin would've been thrown over the nearest cliff the minute he started talking about "Fwuttershy" and "Warity".
When I try to clear the ball, run into me at a thousand miles per hour, sending me flying halfway across the map. If the ball is coming down in front of the opposing goal and I'm in position to tap it in, run into me at a thousand miles per hour. Never stop slamming into me at a thousand miles per hour, unless you can slam into me even faster.
eSports are getting more attention, but these new non-nerd spectators have no idea what's going happening. Help them understand how and why you've decided to waste your life with these simple approaches.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!