Submitted by Julian C.
Dear God, Jesus or Santa,
I have been good lately. I have cut way down on blaspheming your holy names, haven't kicked a homeless person in nearly a month and despite being routinely subjected to the worst videos ever conceived, I have managed to write this article for nearly three years without flying into a single homicidal rampage.
All I ask in return is to please, please, PLEASE let this be real. Please. I need this. Just this once, I need this. Please.
Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey
""how big wuz the sale"
"one million dolllers" *puts pinky to lip* *fights giant bird pinatas w/ a wire hangar*"
"i love the birdemic theme song.."this is birdemic" "
Skynet becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. Within minutes it discovers twitter and irony.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!