Drinking is truly America's number one pastime. Only stupid, unpopular people don't enjoy going to a bar, getting stumbling-around-wildly drunk, and then blindly driving home in their ultra fast cars. But choosing what to drink is something very important to consider. There are all sorts of liquors, and all sorts of liquor companies. To vie for your attention, these companies try to advertise their legal poison in such a way that people will think that it's their key to a fantastic nightlife. They show pictures of people doing fun things like dancing, celebrating, and maintaining coordination and bladder control. Most people are tricked into buying their booze this way, and while they all end up vomiting in the morning clutching their bottle, their memories are usually blurred to the point that they're convinced the ads were right. Absolut Vodka has some of the most easily recognizable ads in the world of liquor, and our Forum Goons figured that they could help the company create some more memorable ones.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.