Submitted by Nick O.
Balloon Log, 31095.5 - The FOOLS at my bottom rung blue collar job have proven themselves as short-sighted as I assumed them to be. Today I, billoon45, have been layed off. Good riddance to them, I say! Being a functioning member of society has only sapped valuable hours from my days - hours that could have been spent climbing into balloons. Furthermore, if you for a minute assume that I would deign to selling my Playstation to pay for rent or food, you are clearly as addle brained as my former labor-mongers! Fie on the lot of you!
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!