Submitted by Nick O.
Balloon Log, 31095.5 - The FOOLS at my bottom rung blue collar job have proven themselves as short-sighted as I assumed them to be. Today I, billoon45, have been layed off. Good riddance to them, I say! Being a functioning member of society has only sapped valuable hours from my days - hours that could have been spent climbing into balloons. Furthermore, if you for a minute assume that I would deign to selling my Playstation to pay for rent or food, you are clearly as addle brained as my former labor-mongers! Fie on the lot of you!
Over the last few weeks an outnumbered but brave group of men calmly used facts and logic to conclusively prove that women are ruining video games with their lustful object bodies. But there are other threats to everything gamers hold dear.
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!