albany academy

This Opinion is Controversial, Because Taking an Uninformed Stance on an Issue Generates More Clicks
I'm manipulating your identity politics to polarize an issue that's as benign a subject as whether or not popsicles are a delicious treat enjoyed by many...

The Previous Opinion Was Actually Wrong, Thanks to the Comment Section Telling Me I'm a Useless Piece of Shit
"of course a fat dum slob like urself would call popsicles microgressions [sic]," wrote user MacUser2014. "i hope a popsicle falls into your butt and you die lmao[sic]"

Uncle Enzo

Sounding Smug And Self-Doubting At The Same Time: A Blogger's Guide
I'm consumed with doubt to the point of tears every day that I'll let my precious child down. But you know what? I'm definitely a better parent than you.



Broenheim

Why You Have Basically Caused Your Child To Eventually Kill Himself
We've all been there, your child was just born and you hold him in your arms. Then, without thinking, you do the unspeakable, you name him without asking him, striping him of freedoms and slowly cause him to spiral into depression eventually leading to his suicide you horrible, horrible mother. Of course, I didn't do that...

Stottie Kyek

My Toddler is a Picky Eater and Throws Tantrums
It must be autism. Normal toddlers don't do that. I know because my friends told me their toddlers are perfectly behaved at all times.



BigBoss

Why I'm Not Bothered When They Laugh At Kayden's Swimming Helmet

Uncle Enzo

I Treat My Children's Upbringing Like I'm Min-Maxing Gender In Some Kind Of Video Game
I gave my child a male name, so they'd be viewed as powerful. But I also forced them to live as the other gender, so they'd be compassionate. I pick out Kaighdenn's outfit...

Sonofsilversign

I Was Name-Shamed On The Something Awful Forums
My eyes filled with tears as I looked a Kaydainne's birth certificate. Who were they to tell me what to name my son? All I wanted was for him to be unique and...

Thanks to BigBoss for the theme, and to the SA Forum Goons for sharing their parental expertise!

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

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