Some of you have mentioned that you really like elephants and were curious as to how intelligent they were. Well, not only are they intelligent, but they can be sneaky sons-of-bitches too.For example:Every zoo keeper would carry a set of keys. 15-20 keys on a ring on a belt hook.
The elephants were notorious for stealing these keys. They are the worlds largest pick pockets. One time we had the elephants inside and were laying out their feed. After you chained them you'd break open a bale of Timothy hay in front of each elephant then dump 50 pounds of grain and veggies on top of the hay. This meant you were literally standing under there heads sometimes. They weren't aggressive at all so this was no big deal. Plus the public was standing not 5 feet away, and this made for a great show. Day in, day out people would ogle and take pictures and all you were doing was your job.One day I'm dumping the hay. I'm standing next to Clara's head when someone asks me a question. I stand up and start talking to the person. I have Clara's head rubbing against me and I'm scratching her cheek as I talked. As you stood there, the elephants would always have there trunk all over you. They'd lay it on your shoulder, or on top of your head. The audience would go insane laughing.
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.