"Mourn me not, for I died doing what I love the best: eating an entire chocolate cake off the counter."

- Barchimedes

"I didn't think you had it in you."

- Pouncer

"Come closer, dear friend. With my final breath, let me bark the sweet scent of Alpo and cat poop upon your face."

- Lobsterdog

"Bury me under the old oak tree whose shade sheltered me from so many hot suns. Celebrate the memory of my deeds, for they have been fair and they have been good."

- Cambyses

"I bequeath my wealth to no man or dog. Bury me in my bandana."

- Linus

"Death shall do for me what you never could: allow me to be free."

- Bernie

"God forgive me for the things I have done."

- Weebles

"I serve no master but Allah."

- Jingles

"Perhaps in death I shall achieve what eluded me in life: sniffing the one truly perfect butthole."

- Beodog

"It hurts so much. I'm sorry for being a bad doggie."

- Swift

"Dread my cursed name, for I shall stalk these streets by night forevermore."

- Goobie

"I have eaten things that would make grown men weep. I see now that this was a mistake."

- Buford

"I smell the beach. I feel the sand under my paws. I am at peace."

- Gorgon

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