[at the convenience store] Oh you can't break a hundred huh. Well I can break a hundred bones in your body using only one combo, tough guy. I guess that means it's your move.
Fuck this, i need a beer - to my boss who is under 21
nice straw man. i see that it has burst into flames much like the kiss logo when kiss performs "black diamond" on their concert tour
[backing up away from swat team at jell-o factory] *throws the evidence against me in a large vat* the proof is in the pudding
*Walks into a high end night club or somewhere you would go looking for someone important like a gang leader* Okay who's the big cheese 'round here
[mother-in-law emerges from her room withno make-up on ]. Me: Release the Kraken!
Let's not and say we did and vaccination causes autism
(someone gives technical explination of some thing) .."In English Please"
Me: Sumere volucere copulatem (Means Go take a flying **** in some languages)
Me: Wow, another thrilling dialogue with the intellectual superman! Let's give him a big hand folks!
*professor at college writes a bunch of shit on the board* UHhhh id like to buy a vowel?
Alright, cool, so you graduated college. you forgot to get your diploma though *hands you the ultimate diploma, a cool graphic novel that i circled all the best action drawings in with red pen so you can skip the stupid parts*
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.