I have been posting on the Internet for entirely too long now. Spending this much time online tends to make one feel a bit blase. It engenders a sense of "seen it already." Yes,that's a bunny. Yes it has a pancake on its head. No I do not know why. Yes it looks delicious. No I would not have sex with it. No I would not drench it in my milky man syrup. OK that is quite enough give me back the laptop Grandma.

Every once in awhile, though, one stumbles across something truly amazing, original, beautiful, and disturbing, a Garden of Earthly Delights washing aimlessly about in the flotsam of a forum. That is how I feel about this week's Goldmine.

Forums poster Retromancer ripped off an article entitled "Fun With FEMA!" by Amelie Gillete for the A.V. Club. Gillete was commenting on a coloring book called A Scary Thing Happened, which was distributed by FEMA apparently in an attempt to help kids understand natural disasters. While nothing Retromancer did was particularly creative or original, some brilliantly deranged forum goons picked it up where Gillete left off, and turned an awful coloring book into something amazing. I'm not sure what happened here, but it is beautiful.

WARNING: A SCARY THING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU TRY TO READ THIS ON 56K (SORRY!)


Retromancer

This is all ripped from article entitled "Fun With FEMA!" by Amelie Gillete for the A.V. Club.

Ever wonder if the eternally incompetent FEMA could fuck up literally anything? wonder if they could make a terrible and traumatizing coloring book for traumatized kids? well wonder no more! this beauty was up on FEMA's website until last thursday, when it was taken down for the fun to color 9-11 imagery! although there are many many reasons this should not exist.

the terrifying what hath hell wrought cover


the family holding hands and wandering into their burning house


a terrifying blob of a child wearing an obviously homemade "good kid award" summons a tornado to destroy his enemies


'sup? just chillin on my car in the middle of a flood.


you selfish bitch! you had a newspaper from the future and did nothing to stop 9-11?


yet another terrifying house fire to get the message across


and finally the ultimate disaster,

Decapitated heads flying through a wind tunnel.



Infrateal

COLLOR TYME!! !


eeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrpppp A COLORR!

c.o.l.o.r.


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