Crackpipe:

I cannot:
Climb ladders

Therefore:
I cannot become a professional ladder-climber

Death Incarnate:I cannot: tell a lie.Therefore I would make a poor: President(Or televangelist, for that matter)

Vogelfrei:

I cannot:
fit a live deer in my mouth

Therefore I would make a bad:
Alligator

Iron Twinkie:

I cannot:
carry eggs around on my crotch

Therefore I would make:
a shitty penguin

Rowdy Rick:

I cannot:
Induce vomiting in others when I talk.

Therefore, I'd make a shitty:
Gilbert Godfried

Duckula:I can not: Do the vulcan thing with my handTherefore, I would make a bad: Nerd

Nomex:

I cannot:
Stay focused

Therefore I would ma

BerkerkLurk:

I can not:
Narrate 1998's Jungle Book: Mowgli's Story

I would therefore make a bad:
TV's Fred Savage

*Commando_Elite*:

I cannot speak Greek.

Therefore I would make a bad Greek.

Lobotomy:

I can not:
get fat

Therefore I would make a bad:
American

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The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

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