Swordfish:

I cannot:
Dyslexic.

Therefore I would make a bad:
read correctly.

trouser chili:I can not: Spread my anus apart to what point one could fit a football inside sideways.Therefore I would make a bad: Novelty website.

MechaMrEd:

I cannot:
Read the first post in the thread properly.

...

.


hi

Lord BEEF:

I can't:
stand idly by while the president is kidnapped

Therefore I would be a bad:
enough dude to rescue the president

Lobbyist:

I can not:
Eat 24 marbles in two minutes

Therefore I would make a bad:
Hungry Hungry Hippo

Precious Roy:

I cannot:
congeal most of my supercooled mass into the same Bosonic state, leaving myself with one superatom.

Therefore, I would make a bad:
Bose-Einstein Condensate

cheapshot:I cannot: Stitch together Nike shoes.Therefore I would make a bad: 4-year-old Indonesian boy.

Storm:

I can't can not:
Make my correct sentences grammarly.

There I would bad make a:
Talking to person.

Synaesthesia:

I Cannot:
Speak German

Therefore I would make a bad
German.

Wuntvor:

I cannot:
program games

therefore I'd make:
daikatana

Thenipwax:

I cannot:
stop being so fucking cool

therefore I would make a bad:
you

Well, there you have it for this week's Goldmine. Thank you, come again, and watch your ass on the way out.

– Emily "Integral" Reigel

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.