Swordfish:

I cannot:
Dyslexic.

Therefore I would make a bad:
read correctly.

trouser chili:I can not: Spread my anus apart to what point one could fit a football inside sideways.Therefore I would make a bad: Novelty website.

MechaMrEd:

I cannot:
Read the first post in the thread properly.

...

.


hi

Lord BEEF:

I can't:
stand idly by while the president is kidnapped

Therefore I would be a bad:
enough dude to rescue the president

Lobbyist:

I can not:
Eat 24 marbles in two minutes

Therefore I would make a bad:
Hungry Hungry Hippo

Precious Roy:

I cannot:
congeal most of my supercooled mass into the same Bosonic state, leaving myself with one superatom.

Therefore, I would make a bad:
Bose-Einstein Condensate

cheapshot:I cannot: Stitch together Nike shoes.Therefore I would make a bad: 4-year-old Indonesian boy.

Storm:

I can't can not:
Make my correct sentences grammarly.

There I would bad make a:
Talking to person.

Synaesthesia:

I Cannot:
Speak German

Therefore I would make a bad
German.

Wuntvor:

I cannot:
program games

therefore I'd make:
daikatana

Thenipwax:

I cannot:
stop being so fucking cool

therefore I would make a bad:
you

Well, there you have it for this week's Goldmine. Thank you, come again, and watch your ass on the way out.

– Emily "Integral" Reigel

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The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

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