Pactcanada.ca (thanks Rhizoid!)

Today's ALOD is all about Science, Democracy and Murder. Did you know that Cell Phones murder thousands every day with Radiation, people falling out of cellular towers & gas stations? The PACT organization is dedicated to defending our lifestyles from Ma Bell's endless blitzkrieg. To do this, PACT stands in front of a Chevron, gets people to sign up for PACT to raise awareness of PACT's cause with protest signs such as "LOVE MY GRANDKIDS", "BELL SEE THE DAYCARE", and "ITS NOT COOL TO RADIATE ME". They then ask the cell phone companies to inform PACT where they are going to build a tower, so that PACT can organize another meaningless protest and recruit people for the next meaningless protest. PACT figures that with 200 or 300 more of these events being staged in close proximity to a cell tower, one of their members is bound to get brain cancer from the microwaves, validating all of PACT's needless fear mongering.

This tower might negatively impact your health, property values, and lifestyle?
Ever since they built a cell phone tower in my community, I've had to give up flying my airplane at incredibly low altitudes & getting out of phone calls I didn't want to take part in by claiming my signal quality was low. The only health risk that tower poses to children is that of looking totally fucking awesome to climb up. Then again, I don't have any sensationalist videos outdated "scientific evidence" to back up my claims. Check out the website I guess, and decide for yourself!
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Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.