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Danny Gans

Tuesday, July 20, 2004 Update by Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz

Danny Gans, submitted by Danny Gans. What can I say about Danny Gans that hasn't been said already? Danny Gans is as strong as an ox and twice as nice. Danny Gans likes egg salad sandwiches. Danny Gans once killed a man for no reason and laughed over his corpse. Danny Gans nursed a baby goat to heath by letting it suckle his teat. Danny Gans has firecracker eyes and feet made of rainbows. Danny Gans was crowned "The King of Las Vegas", and eats aborted fetuses in the center of the Mirage volcano. Danny Gans wears black to scare away crows.

DANNY FUCKING GANS BITCHES

Danny Gans once leapt into the gorilla cage at the Las Vegas zoo and stole all their bananas. Danny Gans has 340 pairs of shoes, but only one shirt. Danny Gans has rabies but has learned to live with it. During one show, Danny Gans shot flames from his fingertips, killing and maiming the first 3 rows of the audience. Danny Gans combs his hair with the spine bones of an ostrich. At night Danny Gans can be seen riding around the desert air in a Pegasus and dropping crude pornography. Danny Gans fired the first shot at the Alamo. Danny Gans left ear is 12% larger than his right ear. Danny Gans is set to go off on October 4th at 12:45 AM. There will be no survivors.

- Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz