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Language manipulation - Short Dictionary of keywords

Monday, October 1, 2001 Update by Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka

Language manipulation - Short Dictionary of keywords, submitted by Jimmie. Completely bizarre and unbelievable Geocities website dedicated to deciphering secret government keywords that they use while you sleep or work or take out your trash or whatever you do that the government likes to monitor. You know, because the government has a keen interest in monitoring Geocities webmasters.

Over the last decades, using positions of power in your STAGE-WORLD reality, THEY introduced their key words and also their sick DREAMWORLD- TO-SELL key ideas in every aspect of culture in the STAGE WORLD society where you live : songs, movies, humor, even propaganda. Today, these key words and ideas are widespread. They are everywhere, including some of the very news you read or watch, and the content of talk shows in your TV or radio. YOU KNOW.

Keyword : BANANA
Intended Second meaning : MALE ERECTION, HARD PENIS (COCK)
Second meaning Synonyms : POPCORN - BAT (baseball) - KNIFE - COCK (animal) - STRAW (drinking) - SCREW-DRIVER - CUCUMBER - CARROT - PIPE - STICK - ANT HILL - PALM TREE - OBELISK - SWORD - STAPLER - MAST (ship) - MISSILE

Keyword : BROTHER
Intended Second-meanings : ALLEGEDLY, THE CHARACTERS OF THE OTHER MEN - BESIDES YOUR BELOVED HUSBAND - WHOM YOU SHOULD HAVE SEX WITH (IN THE SO-CALLED POOL), IN ORDER TO REDUCE YOUR SO-CALLED HAIR AND/OR TO SATISFY YOUR SO-CALLED "SEXUAL NEEDS";

Keyword : DENTIST
Intended Second meaning : THE PERSON WHOSE SHELL IN THE STAGE WORLD (OR ITS PRODUCTION) IS CONSIDERED TO BE "CUTE", "HANDSOME" OR "PRETTY", AND WHO TREATS THE VAMPIRISM OR HAIR OF A SO-CALLED VAMPIRE.
Second-meaning Synonym : HAIRDRESSER

Huh? I'm not sure how our top-secret government allowed the list of their considerably more top-secret keywords to fall into the nefarious hands of Geocities, but I'm glad I can now finally figure out what the voices are telling me every time I turn on my toaster oven. Let me give this a try:

Keywords: "William F. Slater, III likes to dress up in a flamingo suit and reenact famous scenes from 'Phantom of the Opera' in front of an audience of horrified elderly patients who can't escape because his wife blocks the only exit with printouts of her brain-destroying website. Then he and his wife proceed to throw the helpless elderly patients into the middle of the I-405 during rush hour, stealing all their possessions and using them to fund their underground white slave and heroin trade."
Second-meaning: "William F. Slater, III is a moron."

Hmmm, it does make sense!

- Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka