Awful Link of the Day

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Top 30 Fictional Characters I Would Have Sex With (thanks Senior Woodchuck) - One of the defining characteristics of the Internet these days is the sheer volume of embarrassing minutiae you can unearth. Here is a giant list of fictional characters some girl wants to screw. This list Includes multiple characters from the same anime and rationales that will make your brain explode.

Captain Holly Short: BOOK SERIES, Artemis Fowl, written by Eoin Colfer.There's no good pictures of this gal because it's from an un-illustrated kids' book, but you'll have to take my word for it that she's worth it. First off, she's a fairy (an elf to be exact). Secondly, she's the first female in the history of her people to make reconnaissance officer in the Lower Elements Police.

All of the best girls I've dated have been members of the Lower Elements Police. In case you were worried, she does want to fuck the kid from Animorphs.

Jake Berensen: BOOK SERIES, Animorphs, by K.A. Applegate. So, yes, Jake is underage. Would you like to tell me again in case I start caring?

I wonder if the Lower Elements Police handle the volatile isotope of Pedophilium-87. I hear it sublimes after 18 years and is carried away by a musty-basement-air-scented breeze.

- Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons