Womb Ghosts (Thanks, Esplanade!)
"Thousand of woman have ghosts in their private area and don't know it," warns Haunted America Tours. This condition causes specter-infested crotches to glow and transmit "black energy." Uterus inhabitants include dead babies (probably stillborns who weren't properly placated with postmortem gifts) and deceased husbands, who live in constant fear of having their immortal spirits penetrated by some new dude's dick. Occasionally peni are commandeered as poltergeist flashlights, but usually males must deal with the daunting presence of the notoriously rude Bowel Ghost. If you're unsure whether your vaginal/anal misfortunes are due to malevolent phantoms or some less exotic culprit like venereal disease or colon cancer, follow this protocol: "Try passing an EMF Meter over your naked body. And recording EVP's by placing a digital voice recorder in your genital regions. You might be surprised at the results."
This Week on Something Awful...
-
Movies That Show Their Age!
Photoshop Phriday
The SA forum goons subject films to the relentless, unstoppable, cruel savagery of time.
-
Stuff You Will Hate II: Unholy Creations
Garbage Day
I send Sgt. D the kind of shit that makes him mad, and he sends back -- whatever, I hate everything.
-
Warhamer 40,000: Rogue Trader (part two)
WTF, D&D!?
Steve and Zack subject themselves to the second half of Warhammer 40,000's Rogue Trader.
-
I Ate A Luna Bar And My Dick Fell Off!
AwfulVision
Pillow fartin', totally reasonable Republicans and CLOWNCORE MOTHERFUCKER *honk honk*
Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.
