A hirsute primate/human hybrid allegedly roams the Mogollon Rim in Arizona. Like most Bigfoot-style behemoths, this creature has proven mysteriously wily and elusive, but The Mogollon Monster Tracking Site displays the following evidence of its existence: A crudely scribbled sketch that resembles a pallid, jaundiced ghost, several ridiculously phrased testimonials, and an animated abominable snowman GIF that looks nothing like the drawing or the descriptions. The Monster seems like a friendly enough freak of nature, with amusing prankster hobbies such as wrapping campers in their own tents before rolling them down hills; hiding inside mailboxes; and watching people fish. Fortunately, this site shouldn't endanger his livelihood, as would-be hunters won't be able to endure the site's ugly design long enough to garner any useful information about his whereabouts.

This sound clip contains: either an unceremonious recording of a hunted animal's dying moans, or a death-metal song with the music removed.

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

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