The results are in!
You winned!
Last time I held a contest to celebrate the super-good redesign of Something Awful. Let's look at the entries.

Jacob Embody didn't seem to give two shits.

Chris Walz had no idea that I am terrified by statue penises.

Tomme VidnXs gets points for scale but none for PISSING ME THE HELL OFF!
WINNER:
Nathan Oberle just secured the Obama Presidency.
Congrats to Nathan for winning and making me spend nearly $2.00 on postage. He was sent a written, autographed copy of my grad school article along with a super secret goony prize!
Will you be the next winner?
Who will survive?
This Week on Something Awful...
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The Wishmaster's Valentines
The Flash Tub
The Wishmaster grants some Valentines Day wishes with SURPRISE TWISTS.
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Safe House; The Vow; Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace; Shame; A Dangerous Method
Current Releases
No-one is safe, except for you. Safe from bad movies that is, thanks to our life-saving reviews.
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How To Make Someone Cry
Features / Articles
Maybe if I wore a cape and ran around someone's living room they'd start weeping violently.
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Historical Figure Hats / British Judge Wigs!
Photoshop Phriday
Hats? On people?! Wigs? On judges?! Whatever, weirdos.
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Aliens Unlimited: Galaxy Guide (1997)
WTF, D&D!?
Steve and Zack encounter unknown creatures in Palladium's guide to Aliens Unlimited.
