Today I was in the library working on some writing stuff when I saw a box sitting on the shelf. It was an old dirty shoebox held together by copious amounts of packing tape. There was nothing desirable about it at all except the sign on its side, which said, in large red letters:
This box is never to leave the library.
~I dedicate this Daily Dirt to all those lonely shoeboxes around the world. This one's for you, baby:
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!