Today I was in the library working on some writing stuff when I saw a box sitting on the shelf. It was an old dirty shoebox held together by copious amounts of packing tape. There was nothing desirable about it at all except the sign on its side, which said, in large red letters:
This box is never to leave the library.
~I dedicate this Daily Dirt to all those lonely shoeboxes around the world. This one's for you, baby:
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!