Today I was in the library working on some writing stuff when I saw a box sitting on the shelf. It was an old dirty shoebox held together by copious amounts of packing tape. There was nothing desirable about it at all except the sign on its side, which said, in large red letters:
This box is never to leave the library.
~I dedicate this Daily Dirt to all those lonely shoeboxes around the world. This one's for you, baby:
He has unlocked the secrets of the universe and seen beyond the mortal plane, yet Doctor Strange can't believe how easy it is to eat an olive.
You can realize that you’ve wasted the last few moments of youth at an occupation you hate or fool yourself into a numb compliance with one of these great excuses.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!