Cover Up Girls SWAT

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Zack: This is what passes for a "hot TA" at your average American community college these days. They used to look like models in belly shirts. Now they look like powdered sugar donuts in loose-fitting sweaters.

Dr. Thorpe: She's poised to karate chop a report on the dangers of gravy bongs.

Zack: I think she's listening to her fingers get fatter. You know, they plump up when they cook.

Dr. Thorpe: See those rubber bands on her wrist? Those are a psychological conditioning tool. She has to snap one of those whenever she thinks about dignity.

Zack: Those tiny green organs at the top of her nose allow her to sense Häagen-Dazs through walls.

Dr. Thorpe: Boy, vertical stripes really are slimming. Just looking at this picture, I feel ten pounds lighter.

Zack: Vertical stripes don't fool wicker chairs. They are a harsh judge.

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