Anarchy 2000
,---., .,---.,---.,---.| ||,---.--.--,---. |---|| ||---||---'| |---||`---. | `---. | || || || | | || | | | ` '` `'` '` ``---'` '``---' ` `---' _____ _ __ __ __ / ___/_ __(_)__/ /__ / / ___ / /__ / (_ / // / / _ / -_) _ / _ / '_/ ___/_,_/_/_,_/__/_.__/___/_/_ V O L U M E 1 - I S S U E 2 2 "Grugh!!! I'm a Sheriff and you give me a displeasure so bad!" You know youre hopes and dreams ? Well they are all a bunch of big turds. Sorry to say it but its true. You won't amount to much more than a regular dude ever in your life so you might as well do this stuff in the file. But please remember that the stuff in here can get you badly hurt or punched by someone if you aren't a sly guy. I'm something of a professonal so please listen to what I say. Now get ready for some chaos!!!! ******************************************************************* /// FRISBEE GOLF FUN ZONE /// Do you have any friends who play this game? Well guess what it is the most stupid game ever. If you dont know it it's basically when guys throw a frisbee to nobody in particular and then go pick it up and keep throwin it to nobody else. Way to figure out how to play frisbee by yourself you nincompoops. A v. good way to cause trouble at the links is to hide in the brush or behind a tree and wait for a dude to throw a frisbee that lands near you. Then just run up on it and huck it somewhere!! My fav. is when you just run out and pick up a guys frisbee and wait for em to come running at you though.. Wait until hes like 20 feet away then launch it at him directly. Gotta watch out though. Sometimes the guy will do that thing where he jumps up and puts his knee up in the air to block the oncoming frisbee and will keep running at you in this case you better hope theres an adult around (or if you are already an adult, then an adult older than you) /// POLICE PRANK PARTY /// Step one is to break into a police station and gain access to the phone. Then #2 is call anyone you dont like and freak them out. For example I really hate my friends mom so I would call up his dad and scare the bones out of him but this one takes some careful thought, You probably just want to call up and be like "Your wifes got a bad case of crud butt" but you cant do that because its not too scary and he will know is fake straight away.. Instead try "Hello sir this is the cops. Your wife has been busted for a bad case of the crud butt." Practical joke complete!! /// CHEMISTRY CORNER /// You may have heard a bit about how to make bombs using chemicals. Like smoke bombs or stink bombs and all the recipes are very hard to do because you have to be v. smart to make all the dynamite or whatever. Well that's bunk and you know it. If a man like us wants to start some big business, we need noting but a big old rock of sulfur. The trick here is that this yellow rock smells like an odor of the bathroom variety. Now just wait until a big day like when your folks bring home the boss for dinner and figure out a clever place to leave the rock. Anywhere you put it will emit a truly terrible stink!! One idea is to write a letter to the person at your house before they get there and make it look like an official contest winning letter. Thats when you put the rock inside. Then they will open it during dinner while very excited because they think they are going to win big but actually the only thing happening is they are going to get stinked up when they should be smelling like downtown. That's when you crawl out from under the dining room table and hold your nose and say "Oh Lordy This Is Quite The Rude Couple, Smelling Up The Place. Uagh!! Im Getting Sick At Them" and take off for your bedroom. I only recommend this last part of the tip if you can run faster than your dad. Or I guess just leave it in a shoe. /// BASEBALL DREAM COME TRUE /// This trick is done when you know someone who really likes you but you don't like them very much and they are the type that keeps talking to you no matter what all the time and they own a pickup truck. Go get a baseball at the store and write "Official Home Run Baseball" on it and when the person comes out of their house to get in the truck and they start it, toss the ball into the back of the truck. He will think a baseball game just had a homerun and it landed! Then he will go inside to call the news but before he can dial you have to call him up and say in a womanly voice "I Like Boys Who Are Lucky. Wait Outside I'm Going To Drive By And Flash You My Boobs." and hang up. Then when you see him outside just run out your front door and start chasing him down the street!! He'll get all scared beacuse he doesn't know why you're mad and you won't either. /// HAIRCUT HERETIC /// Next time your friends mom gets a haircut, write up a note like this and leave it in their house: "Dear My Wife, Nice Haircut. By The Way, Your Head Looks Like A Bug's Head And When You Breathe During Intimate Times It Sounds Like Ducks Fighting. From Husband" While they are fighting you can sneak a beer that you cant get at home and sit in the front room and flick off everyone that walks or drives by. WELL I hope you enjoy some of these tips and hints and gain some of the respect you deserve. Until next time my fellow martys. -XOZ ******************************************************************* This file proudly downloaded from . . . /"""""/"""""".. R A N D Y / / / R I P P E R / / / F O R E V E R /____ / / | |/ __.---.--._ | | |_/ | .| | / | _| | `| | | | .| | | /` ) | | | _/| | | | / /'--:__/ | _/ | | |/ / | |/ _ | * * * * | ( ' | | | */* */* | `. / | | *__ / ...""""""| |""....""""""."" | | * /.."""""..."""| |"""......"""... | |...."""""""........""""""^^^^"......."""""""".." |......"""""""""""""""........"""""...."""""..""..."""" SysOps: MegaGuts - RED BELLY - Deborah - Toms Tummy - Obeast
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