In something of a sequel to a classic Phriday and Comedy Goldmine staple, we have another round of horrifying children's books. This week the goal was to show what happens when your favorite books as a kid grow up and face the brutal consequences of everyday life. It's terrifying stuff, let me tell you. As always, the Something Awful Forum Goons did an excellent job creating books more terrifying than anything Clive Barker or Stephen King could ever hope to write. Maybe if they had scary gay sex in a transdimensional dungeon and somehow produced a horror writing child you might get scarier books, but what are the odds of that happening? Probably not very good, so stop being a cynical jerk and enjoy these images.

Lister got things started by immediately playing the anal sex card. I hope he's more tactful on dates.

hurrrr² is the sound I make when I eat oatmeal taken to the second power.

jalad lost his virginity to a Wookiee at Mos Eisly station.

ToiletDuk needs to go warm up the car for me because I can't handle the cold.

mcbexx is a lot like a glacier. On second thought, he's a lot like a Frisbee.

More Photoshop Phriday

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.