December 18, 2012
i dont give a rat FUCk about your personal shit, about your politic's, about your ugly kid and wife, just keep the Christian sand art coming
- wint (@dril) December 7, 2012
son your grounded "but what about the babes dad,they NEED me they yearn for my touch and fiend for my bod... will you deprave them"
- Swell Dude(@Swell_Bro) December 15, 2012
Come in sarge.. Just saw a big ass titty [KSSHHHT] just over the hill.. [KSHHT] three clicks away [KSHHHT] fairly fucking cool titty and hot
- Merry Beans (@dogboner) December 15, 2012
im gonna lay in the shower and take a crap in there
- deg (@degg) May 22, 2012
We all agree, no one looks cool
- Horse ebooks (@Horse_ebooks) December 12, 2012
Figuring out the blogosphere
- MrSexy (@MrSexy) August 2, 2007
Lazy in the streets but asleep in the bed.
- johnasavoia (@johnasavoia) December 10, 2012
Sup
- Vanilla Ice (@vanillaice) December 1, 2012
ok im payin these dumb bill collectors but i swear to god im writing"D O .Y O U. E V E N. L I F T."in the memo line of EVERY check
- rap game glenna (@glenna_opt) December 18, 2012
I AM THE PILL YOU FORGOT YOU TOOK AN HOUR AGO. HELLO.
- žMiLY (@TEENSLUT666) December 15, 2012
theres a guy at work who calls me "young squire" and it reminds me how i don't even know the difference between a halberd and a falchion
- vrunt (@vrunt) December 14, 2012
20 Startlingly Prescient Beavis Quotes
- Great Lists (@Buzzfeeed) December 14, 2012
Back in 2008, Sylvester Stallone looked me dead in the eye and said (and I'll never forget this as long as I'll live) complete gibberish.
- Mark Leggett (@markleggett) December 14, 2012
It's "National Kiss a Baseball Player Day" which is good news for the Cubs since that's the only way any of them will get to first base.
- Julia Segal (@juliasegal) December 14, 2012
I like to think my father is looking down from heaven and smiling, but he's actually at an Indian casino with his new wife.
- Alex Baze (@bazecraze) December 13, 2012
12 yr old son: "Let me put it this way; if you like cars, you're probably gonna enjoy the auto show."
- Andy Richter (@Andy_Richter) December 12, 2012
like I'm lookin at all these gifts "for her" and damn, a woman can't just be about weird shaped soap, right?
- Greg (@weedguy420boner) December 12, 2012
sorry mom, but if U read my posts u would know why I spiked yuor meatloaf like a football & called it a "piece of shit". because i am scared
- wint (@dril) December 11, 2012
Sweatpants, two shirts, cardigan, bathrobe, thick socks, moccasins, fuzzy blanket: I'm like a goddamn SEX MOUNTAIN.
- Keply Pentland (@MmeSurly) December 11, 2012
One way to kill the mystery and magic of a new relationship is to let your significant other watch you put on skinny jeans.
- Melissa Stetten (@MelissaStetten) December 10, 2012
had a bad dream where this nigga cut my Prius in half wit a oversized anime sword
- marvin (@CoolAssMarvin) December 9, 2012
How gross is it, on a scale of 1 to white boy dreads?
- Pony Starwars (@tigersgoroooar) December 9, 2012
"You have no idea what kind of pressure I'm under at work!" -- deep sea diver
- Nic Cage Match (@NicCageMatch) December 7, 2012
-
