I hope my mom doesn't call today because if she asks what I'm doing I'm going to have to say "thinking about Usher's butt"— Greg (@weedguy420boner) November 10, 2012
Ohh you're a FOO-DEE. Thought you said lonely.— Ally Maynard (@missmayn) November 10, 2012
When the cashier asks for my signature, I just write "HELP ME" while maintaining eye contact— Kaylee Harles (@Kalarlis) November 10, 2012
scared to get drunk because I don't want to throw up and show everyone how much string cheese I ate today— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) November 10, 2012
I just made a viral video (sneezed on a VHS tape).— david nuzzy nussbaum (@theNuzzy) November 10, 2012
The funniest part of God's day has to be deciding who gets the really tiny wangs.— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) November 10, 2012
Emma Stone was the most paranoid person I had ever met. In private she wore a full suit of medieval armor at all times, visor down.
Welcome to Gamer Hell, where those who committed sins in online games must pay for their crimes against noobs for eternity.
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