I hope my mom doesn't call today because if she asks what I'm doing I'm going to have to say "thinking about Usher's butt"— Greg (@weedguy420boner) November 10, 2012
Ohh you're a FOO-DEE. Thought you said lonely.— Ally Maynard (@missmayn) November 10, 2012
When the cashier asks for my signature, I just write "HELP ME" while maintaining eye contact— Kaylee Harles (@Kalarlis) November 10, 2012
scared to get drunk because I don't want to throw up and show everyone how much string cheese I ate today— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) November 10, 2012
I just made a viral video (sneezed on a VHS tape).— david nuzzy nussbaum (@theNuzzy) November 10, 2012
The funniest part of God's day has to be deciding who gets the really tiny wangs.— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) November 10, 2012
You can realize that you’ve wasted the last few moments of youth at an occupation you hate or fool yourself into a numb compliance with one of these great excuses.
You've heard of #BlackLivesMatter and #AllLivesMatter, but the ancient voice of a mountain offers us the hardest truth of all: #NoLivesMatter. And also some opinions about immigrants.
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!