I hope my mom doesn't call today because if she asks what I'm doing I'm going to have to say "thinking about Usher's butt"— Greg (@weedguy420boner) November 10, 2012
Ohh you're a FOO-DEE. Thought you said lonely.— Ally Maynard (@missmayn) November 10, 2012
When the cashier asks for my signature, I just write "HELP ME" while maintaining eye contact— Kaylee Harles (@Kalarlis) November 10, 2012
scared to get drunk because I don't want to throw up and show everyone how much string cheese I ate today— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) November 10, 2012
I just made a viral video (sneezed on a VHS tape).— david nuzzy nussbaum (@theNuzzy) November 10, 2012
The funniest part of God's day has to be deciding who gets the really tiny wangs.— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) November 10, 2012
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
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