"I'd like to party with that guy" - under my breath, at a cement mixer driving by— Greg (@weedguy420boner) October 22, 2012
"FEAR IS USED 2 ENSLAVE THE MASSES," I SAID AS I RIPPED THE FUCKIN DECORATIVE CARDBOARD SKELETON OFF OF THE COMMUNITY CENTERS BULLETIN BOARD— wint (@dril) October 19, 2012
ive watched the tape nearly 40 times now and ive come to the conclusion that i could fuck way better than the hulkster if given the chance— Scary Beans (@dogboner) October 16, 2012
im crippled and i need an assistant to help me shit— deg (@degg) October 21, 2012
Is there a "Ghost" porn parody where someone is behind a woman helping her jerk off a rod?— Spirit Ghost (@haha_what) October 20, 2012
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!