My birthday was this week. I'm not sure how many of you remember Mean Gifts, but I got a few cool things from dear old Mom that were worth sharing. I have a few other gifts backlogged, so here in a month or so I might do a follow up. Until that time here is a sneak preview, taken with my shitty camera phone:
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a half-deflated Valentine's Day balloon with a dog on it. I think I'll return the favor and start dispensing Lithum at every gift-giving event.
Last review we took a shocking in-depth look at "Urban Menace", a movie that proved to us rappers should stick to what they know, i.e. getting shot. Next time we'll kick off a two-part zombie series, starting with "I Was A Teenage Zombie" and ending with "Day of the Dead 2: Contagium." After those two comes "Existo," which I've been assured is the worst anti-Bush musical starring Jim Varney ever made. Pray for me.
Again I'd like to end this by thanking everyone who takes the time to write in. I really try to reply to everything I get but my email has been fucking up, so if you didn't get a reply rest assured that it either bounced back or you were one of the ten billion people who emailed me saying "HURR REVIEW STAY ALIVE PLZ." And before you click that button: If you ironically email me that message now that you've read this, you're the unfunniest fag since Carlos Mencia. Just saying.
Thanks for reading, everyone! I hope you enjoyed the update. See you in two weeks!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
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