Step 2: This time, don't use flash from a foot away.
To enter this HUGE VERY IMPORTANT contest, just send something funny to [email protected] and I'll take a look at it. The one that seems the most funny will go in my next Daily Dirt.
Whatever you send can't be any longer than 3 medium sized paragraphs or 4-5 small paragraphs. If it's too long I probably won't bother reading it.
Include whatever name you want to be credited under if you win. If there is no name on the winning entry I'll just stick it into my next update and claim I wrote it.
You can include a picture that's supposed to go with it as long as it's not so big that I'd have to resize it and that it's not gross and also any other rules I decide to apply.
If no one sends anything funny, I'll either put up the worse ones and make fun of them, or more likely just ignore the entire thing.
This line is for administrative use only. Please do not write on this line.
That's it, ok?
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!