I AM A MOTHERFUCKIN' T-REX. GOT A PROBLEM WITH CAPITAL LETTERS? TOO FUCKIN' BAD; I AM A T-REX. I AM HERE TO SHOW YOU MY MOTHERFUCKIN' VACATION. LET'S GO CHUMPS.
HERE I AM ON MY MOTHERFUCKIN' TRAMPOLINE. I LANDED ON MY HEAD AND IT HURT BUT I AM A BAD MOTHERFUCKIN' T-REX AND CAN TAKE THE PAIN YOU PUSSIES CAN'T.
THIS IS UNCLE TED. HE IS KIND OF WEIRD.
FIRST I WENT TO THAT MOTHER WAL-FUCKIN'-MART TO GET SOME SHIT. A T-REX HAS TO SHOP SOME TIMES BUT THESE CHUMPS MADE THE STORE WAY TOO SMALL..
ON MY WAY OUT OF TOWN I STOPPED BY MY FAVORITE PUB. THESE GUYS KNOW WHERE IT IS AT AND WHO THE MOTHERFUCKIN' T-REX IS.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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