I AM A MOTHERFUCKIN' T-REX. GOT A PROBLEM WITH CAPITAL LETTERS? TOO FUCKIN' BAD; I AM A T-REX. I AM HERE TO SHOW YOU MY MOTHERFUCKIN' VACATION. LET'S GO CHUMPS.
HERE I AM ON MY MOTHERFUCKIN' TRAMPOLINE. I LANDED ON MY HEAD AND IT HURT BUT I AM A BAD MOTHERFUCKIN' T-REX AND CAN TAKE THE PAIN YOU PUSSIES CAN'T.
THIS IS UNCLE TED. HE IS KIND OF WEIRD.
FIRST I WENT TO THAT MOTHER WAL-FUCKIN'-MART TO GET SOME SHIT. A T-REX HAS TO SHOP SOME TIMES BUT THESE CHUMPS MADE THE STORE WAY TOO SMALL..
ON MY WAY OUT OF TOWN I STOPPED BY MY FAVORITE PUB. THESE GUYS KNOW WHERE IT IS AT AND WHO THE MOTHERFUCKIN' T-REX IS.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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