Dr. Thorpenstein: FUCK!
Zackula: Stan Winston strikes again.
Dr. Thorpenstein: I guess Busey is more sad than scary, because didn't he get into an accident and now he's got the mind of a six-year-old or something? But even if he's more sad, he's still incredibly goddamn scary.
Zackula: Yeah, he is a damaged dude. But scary. Like that time he crawled under an old rotten tree trunk and webbed himself up with saliva and six months later he and Jake Busey came out together.
Zackula: And, really, what the fuck is the point of all this tax money going to the X-Files if they can't prevent Jake Busey from happening?
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.