Let's take a look at some of the more popular threads from nearly every forum on the Something Awful Forums, ending in 03-09-2007:
General Bullshit; a general discussion forum with everything from current events to painfully boring e/n threads. Forum representative: SpecialOlympian.
bodily fluids disaster story (NWS) - Mortimer McMire shares what most alcoholics consider to be the point where they hit "rock bottom." Although, a story like this would have made for a really upbeat and hilarious AA meeting.
A Collection of Badassery: The Archive of Medal of Honor Recipients & Citations - Dakana shares an online database of army records for soldiers who have earned the American Medal of Honor. "Over the next seven hours, Cafferata never stopped shooting. The wooden front hand guard on one of his rifles started to smolder from the heat generated by his rapid fire." So freakin' awesome.
RichTrax? – Well wasn’t it nice of Mike Nelson from MST3K to register an account and say hi to everyone? Too bad it’s the only post he’s ever made. Nelson shares clips from the upcoming Rifftrax DVD’s. On page 5 Lowtax explains what brought about this blessed event and on page 8 genesplicer shares pictures of Nelson’s Best Brain Studios.
Let's Draw Retarded Pokémon Again - Chibs challenges everyone to view the world of Pokémon through the lens of retardation. Surprisingly, there is a strong positive correlation between artistic talent and love of Pokémon.
My Run-In With a Major Purveyor of Homeopathic (FAKE) Medicine!! - psychoticmoose writes an article condemning purveyors of magic water. This draws the attention of Dana Ullman, online homeopathy advocate, who is then mocked by James Randi. If you don't know anything about James Randi or homeopathy, check out the youtube video at the bottom of the first post.
SMEEE - Trapezoid took the time to watch every frame of Disney’s Peter Pan and document the subliminal perversion that makes these movies classics. Bonus: A link to Trapezoid’s earlier thread on Beauty and the Beast in the first post.
I was a veterinary technician, once. - Shmev shares his stories and other vet-techs do the same. Just like a rollercoaster it has ups, downs, and you can't wipe the puke off until you're done. Feel bad for the animals all you want, but our first world pets get better care than third world people.
Bad events at parties – zarbicore shares the tale of how his toilet was destroyed. The most embarrassing stores are eternalbuffalo’s (Page 1), MoGurt’s (Page 2), and Matty D’s photo documentation of a fratboy’s shame(Page 4).
MSPaint weird things your dad does that are beyond your comprehension. – C-3P0’s ex-wife starts things off with the self-explanatory title. Oh, and boo-hoo for all the precious little babies who don’t like seeing MSPaints of people’s alcoholic/neglectful/absent fathers. Why not go cry to your responsible and loving daddies, huh?
Ask / Tell. People will ask things. You can reply. People will tell you about things. You may read them. Pretty all-encompassing. THESE SOCKS? is here to serve you today's quick list.
Do you like asking questions? What about telling people off? If so, I have a forum I think you might just like!
Ask me about being a US Army Ranger - Ever wonder what it's like to be involved in Special Ops? As long as the answer isn't classified, Roving Reporter will tell you!
Ask me what it's like to live as an intersexed female - MageMage offers the unique experience of being a female who was born with testes.
Ask me about being a WoW GM! - In World of Warcraft, there are mere mortals, and then there are the game masters. Luckily, tirinal is hear to clear up some of the mysteries about the latter.
Ask a Debt Collector - GrenadesOnParade answers all your questions about debt collection agencies, except "why won't you stop calling?"
Does it fit? - Neatly tucked away as a subforum of Ask/Tell, Watch and Weight is a place where people can go to discuss appearance and exercise. In this thread, Chiggins challenges you to decide whether a shirt fits him (6'2") better than it fits his female friend (5'6"). Fashion advice ensues!
Post Your Favorite. Another general interest forum, this one where users may post, well threads about anything that is their favorite. Cars, desktops, women... whatever. Thank Zero Star!
PYF perfume/cologne! - Believe it or not, the average goon doesn't actually smell like a mixture of body odour and semen. In fact, most of us actually like to smell nice, as reflected by Emerging and other PYF regulars in this thread.
What did you just buy? - Rubiks Pubes kicks off this thread for goons to show off the cool shit they've just acquired. Hi-tech gadgets and delicious sandwiches ahoy!
Post 4 weird facts about yourself, one fake -
1. A thread in which goons post four statements and let other goons guess which one is the fake.
2. 'Game' threads such as this one are always popular.
3. This thread was started by Three Olives.
4. Dallas star Larry Hagman makes a special appearance on page two.
PYF Futurama joke - Sweet Zombie Jesus, it's a Futurama thread! Uncle Wemus kicked off this lengthy dissection of arguably the greatest cartoon series ever.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Something Awful Forums: the last bastion of sanity on the Internet. "Forum Fridays" glances at some of the most interesting and popular threads from nearly each forum, highlighting a handful of threads each week.