All right, it's Monday! Wait no, Monday sucks! Go to hell, Monday! I hate you! I never want to be like you! Never!
General Bullshit (as presented by my main man SpecialOlympian) is our delightfully general forum with as many interesting facets as wadded-up chunks of Chinese newspapers.
Peach's Cake: Descent into Madness - Aren't fanfics written by the insane so much fun? They allow us a look into someone else's surreality through the prism of whatever their obsessive fixation is. Let us all thank the whatever god Lacerta worships for finding this fanfic. Oh, and happy Easter to you.
Thank you, J. Lindberg. - Thank you, J. Lindberg, for showing the 07's every single thing they could possibly do wrong with a post. On the top of page 3 the Lindberg's roommate MasterColin offers insight on what could possibly make someone so retarded. - Thank you, J. Lindberg
A Street Sweeper's Tale - I love low end jobs like this that let you deal with humanity's trash. It almost makes me want to quit my cushy office job so I could have stories to tell at parties. Like a proctologist, Bruiser is reaping the benefits of his job.
Push those glasses up to your face a little farther, Poindexter. I'm about to tell you a fact that will make your pocket protector fly out of your pocket and knock your Warhammer figurines off the shelf faster than you can say "Voyager is not canon!": There are people on your precious Internet who like sports, and they have their own forum called Sports Argument Stadium. You may direct your DDoS attack toward SaxMaverick, who brings us this:
Less Africans Americans in Baseball - Not a request, but forum member muse wants to talk about why baseball is the new hockey, but with Hispanics.
The "Finding out who to yell at during the Playoffs" Thread - Get your NHL bandwagon here! NHL Bandwagons for everyone! SubCrid TC is so crazy, he's practically GIVING NHL teams away!
MLB News/Views for April - Welcome back my friends, to the show that never... - Baseball's back, and its the only thing on TV now. Get in VoxPVoxD's thread, learn about America's Pastime, and maybe you'll see Vox get banned again!
2007 SAS Mock Draft Signup/Discussion - "Commissioner" Shooter McGavin sets up this year's SAS Mock draft. Come grab a team, and touch yourself imagining Brady Quinn and Tom Brady on the same team.
Has Football become America's Sport? - The answer is a resounding "yes" but Kanish and the rest of SAS tells you why.
NFL Europa: Wir spielen Football?! - Since we couldn't pay attention to Arena football, hitch your last hopes of football on NFL Europa which I believe is German for "washed-up college stars play in Switzerland"
Hell2DaNaw.com: Lets take jorts to the blogosphere - Hell2danaw.com is up and running, and so far we've pissed off male baton twirlers everywhere! This SAS blog is even endorsed by SomethingAwful forums superstar/mod Pantsfish!
Fantasy Baseball Questions/Advice Thread - Ask questions about who you should start pitching today, not how you could find Grady Sizemore's phone number. Not that kind of fantasy, perv (although there is nothing wrong with a strong heterosexual love for Grady).
"Flank the perimeter! We have bogeys heading in through the back! Go, go, go!! They're trying to get into the garage!!" The Firing Range is our gun forum, and here's a fact: It's the only forum in which a majority of the regulars believe World War 3 will both begin and end on their property. Miso Beno took a break from building a radar dish to give us this roundup.
Critical Mass Bike Riders Attack Car - WWYD? - Crazy Armed Pilot is afraid of disgruntled yuppies on bikes and thinks that running them over is a good idea.
I am a genetic failure / cross eye dominance - Reverend Spanky is disabled and asks TFR how to overcome his optical weaknesses.
PMC Start-up facility (with tons of pics) - Muldane posts the ultimate box thread, complete with range report.
Post Your True Tales of Not Having a CCW and Needing It. - El Jorge is stalked by an SUV while he's trying to become less of a fatty and wishes he had his pistol.
I want to be a gunsmith. - Cockrings! wants to take a mail order "gun smithing" course so he too can become a "gun smith."
More Goddamned faggy airguns - NosmoKing gives us a range report on the Daisy Avanti 753 and 853. He also explains to us how .177 is the new 5.7mm.
Gun Nut Archetypes - Fang asks us what Three Fat Rednecks stereotype you are while Gtab gets repeatedly blasted for being an Escaped Canadian and an Internet Liar.
CZ-82's are now C&R - Crayvex tells us to break out our Curio and Relic dealer licenses and order one of these 9mm Makarov wonders.
I ran out of money - Punch McRockGroin runs out of money trying to afford his shooting addiction.
Hot Deal! "Germany Surrenders" M1 Garand - Cmdrhac0 found us an excellently priced M1 Garand for the low low price of $100,000.
Do all of your holiday shopping in the Star Citizen online store! We have great deals on space ships for a game that may not be released for years. Think of these as investments in your future enjoyment.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful Forums: the last bastion of sanity on the Internet. "Forum Fridays" glances at some of the most interesting and popular threads from nearly each forum, highlighting a handful of threads each week.