This article is part of the YouTube Tour series.
DFH: Continuing the theme of dad's biting off more than they can chew, here's a nice internet collaboration cover of Yes' "I've Seen All Good People":
DFH: Employing state of the art "beige screen" technology.
SH: I get the distinct impression this is supposed to be 'fooling' me
SH: Mr. Wig and the Ratman
DFH: What is that weird mystic shit on Wiggly's twelve string?
SH: That is what is called a 'mother-of-pearl inlay' my friend
SH: It's secret guitarist code for "I have too much money and a tiny peen"
DFH: Oh god, I bet he talks about his "spiritual connection to his instrument" a lot.
SH: These guys shot this in separate locations so the wig guy wouldn't get any second-hand meth fumes from the Ratman
SH: How does a 'youtube collaboration' happen?
DFH: Mutual sadness.
SH: Were these guys huge fans of each others' inept youtube cover videos first?
SH: Like at one point maybe one of these guys was really intimidated about approaching the other one
DFH: They messaged each other for months before finally exchanging MSN handles.
DFH: Oh there's a cool little advertisement for the instruments they used at the end, too. I'm guessing they're both hoping to get sponsored for their amazing youtube covers.
SH: No, this has been actually incredibly common with municipal musicians, even before the internet -- it's a fake it till you make it thing.
SH: Dudes making huge deals out of the fact that they ~only~ play ESP guitars at their weekly gig at the crab shack
SH: I knew a guy who had an 'endorsement' with a drumstick company where they sent him like three pairs of sticks once and he continued to talk about his endorsement for six years
SH: Are you ready for....
SH: METAL DADS?
DFH: fuck YEAH i was just looking for some
SH: BLEED THE FREAKS
DFH: Oh man, dadrock originals.
SH: i searched for "my dad's metal band"
SH: and this was a post on reddit
DFH: Backtats and beer hoodies
SH: they have a drum riser in their practice space, which is the mark of true professionals
SH: and definitely not the mark of sad old dads that want to pretend to be tommy lee while they drink by themselves and cry
DFH: Whoa, dad is grooving dangerously.
DFH: Like really dangerously, given his heart condition.
SH: this is cool cuz there are multiple dad-metal styles combining to form one dad-mass
SH: like the singer is on some Durst-Dad shit but the drummer is definitely more of a Buttafuoco
SH: These guys have "band meetings" where they make each other promise that the "band will always come first"
SH: Guys. First order of business: Brutally crushing riffs. Second: Totally head down to the man-cave and crack a few cold ones. Third: Argue about sports
DFH: So let me get this straight real fast - these guys were teenagers in the heyday of Iron Maiden and Judas Priest and this is the music they decide to make?
SH: well yeah, they're obviously trying to stay 'relevant' to the youth man
DFH: Their list of influences ends with "and whatever's on [frequency of local contemporary rock station]"
SH: you guys heard this new band Godsmack?
DFH: Following in Godsmack's footsteps, what do you think their band nicknames are?
SH: the singer is Fester for sure. A cool double meaning, and totally metal.
DFH: Drummer just goes by "Bam."
DFH: When Fester introduces him, he just says the word BAM, and what follows is the most brutal double-bass shit you've ever heard.
SH: LEAD GUITAR: Fingerz
SH: The stuff on the walls is what makes this video great. Nothing says "unchained aggression" than a dude throwing temper tantrums in front of a toy ukelele and a coors light sign
DFH: I was too distracted by the rock to even notice.
SH: this guy's dance moves remind me of something
SH: and i can't put my finger on it
SH: maybe an animatronic bear?
SH: oh yeah, that's it
SH: But like, epilepsy in half-time. Breakdown epilepsy.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
Here are some cool music things, maybe u should check them out. And/or here are some terrible music things, maybe u should check them out if u like to laugh or maybe u should avoid them if u get really angry when u see something stupid.
Daryl 'Fucking' Hall and Satellite High riff on the worst music YouTube has to offer. Amateur covers, nerdcore rap, dadrock -- it's all here! Take a free ride!