This article is part of the YouTube Tour series.


DFH:
Continuing the theme of dad's biting off more than they can chew, here's a nice internet collaboration cover of Yes' "I've Seen All Good People":


DFH: Employing state of the art "beige screen" technology.

SH: I get the distinct impression this is supposed to be 'fooling' me

SH: Mr. Wig and the Ratman

DFH: What is that weird mystic shit on Wiggly's twelve string?

SH: That is what is called a 'mother-of-pearl inlay' my friend

SH: It's secret guitarist code for "I have too much money and a tiny peen"

DFH: Oh god, I bet he talks about his "spiritual connection to his instrument" a lot.

SH: These guys shot this in separate locations so the wig guy wouldn't get any second-hand meth fumes from the Ratman

SH: How does a 'youtube collaboration' happen?

DFH: Mutual sadness.

SH: Were these guys huge fans of each others' inept youtube cover videos first?

SH: Like at one point maybe one of these guys was really intimidated about approaching the other one

DFH: They messaged each other for months before finally exchanging MSN handles.

DFH: Oh there's a cool little advertisement for the instruments they used at the end, too. I'm guessing they're both hoping to get sponsored for their amazing youtube covers.

SH: No, this has been actually incredibly common with municipal musicians, even before the internet -- it's a fake it till you make it thing.

SH: Dudes making huge deals out of the fact that they ~only~ play ESP guitars at their weekly gig at the crab shack

SH: I knew a guy who had an 'endorsement' with a drumstick company where they sent him like three pairs of sticks once and he continued to talk about his endorsement for six years


SH: Are you ready for....

SH: METAL DADS?

DFH: fuck YEAH i was just looking for some

SH: BLEED THE FREAKS

DFH: Oh man, dadrock originals.

SH: i searched for "my dad's metal band"

SH: and this was a post on reddit

DFH: Backtats and beer hoodies

SH: they have a drum riser in their practice space, which is the mark of true professionals

SH: and definitely not the mark of sad old dads that want to pretend to be tommy lee while they drink by themselves and cry

DFH: Whoa, dad is grooving dangerously.

DFH: Like really dangerously, given his heart condition.

SH: this is cool cuz there are multiple dad-metal styles combining to form one dad-mass

SH: like the singer is on some Durst-Dad shit but the drummer is definitely more of a Buttafuoco

SH: These guys have "band meetings" where they make each other promise that the "band will always come first"

SH: Guys. First order of business: Brutally crushing riffs. Second: Totally head down to the man-cave and crack a few cold ones. Third: Argue about sports

DFH: So let me get this straight real fast - these guys were teenagers in the heyday of Iron Maiden and Judas Priest and this is the music they decide to make?

SH: well yeah, they're obviously trying to stay 'relevant' to the youth man

DFH: Their list of influences ends with "and whatever's on [frequency of local contemporary rock station]"

SH: you guys heard this new band Godsmack?

DFH: Following in Godsmack's footsteps, what do you think their band nicknames are?

SH: the singer is Fester for sure. A cool double meaning, and totally metal.

DFH: Drummer just goes by "Bam."

DFH: When Fester introduces him, he just says the word BAM, and what follows is the most brutal double-bass shit you've ever heard.

SH: LEAD GUITAR: Fingerz

SH: The stuff on the walls is what makes this video great. Nothing says "unchained aggression" than a dude throwing temper tantrums in front of a toy ukelele and a coors light sign

DFH: I was too distracted by the rock to even notice.

SH: this guy's dance moves remind me of something

SH: and i can't put my finger on it

SH: maybe an animatronic bear?

DFH: Epilepsy?

SH: oh yeah, that's it

SH: But like, epilepsy in half-time. Breakdown epilepsy.

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About This Column

Here are some cool music things, maybe u should check them out. And/or here are some terrible music things, maybe u should check them out if u like to laugh or maybe u should avoid them if u get really angry when u see something stupid.

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About this series

Daryl 'Fucking' Hall and Satellite High riff on the worst music YouTube has to offer. Amateur covers, nerdcore rap, dadrock -- it's all here! Take a free ride!

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