This article is part of the YouTube Tour series.
DFH: Continuing the theme of dad's biting off more than they can chew, here's a nice internet collaboration cover of Yes' "I've Seen All Good People":
DFH: Employing state of the art "beige screen" technology.
SH: I get the distinct impression this is supposed to be 'fooling' me
SH: Mr. Wig and the Ratman
DFH: What is that weird mystic shit on Wiggly's twelve string?
SH: That is what is called a 'mother-of-pearl inlay' my friend
SH: It's secret guitarist code for "I have too much money and a tiny peen"
DFH: Oh god, I bet he talks about his "spiritual connection to his instrument" a lot.
SH: These guys shot this in separate locations so the wig guy wouldn't get any second-hand meth fumes from the Ratman
SH: How does a 'youtube collaboration' happen?
DFH: Mutual sadness.
SH: Were these guys huge fans of each others' inept youtube cover videos first?
SH: Like at one point maybe one of these guys was really intimidated about approaching the other one
DFH: They messaged each other for months before finally exchanging MSN handles.
DFH: Oh there's a cool little advertisement for the instruments they used at the end, too. I'm guessing they're both hoping to get sponsored for their amazing youtube covers.
SH: No, this has been actually incredibly common with municipal musicians, even before the internet -- it's a fake it till you make it thing.
SH: Dudes making huge deals out of the fact that they ~only~ play ESP guitars at their weekly gig at the crab shack
SH: I knew a guy who had an 'endorsement' with a drumstick company where they sent him like three pairs of sticks once and he continued to talk about his endorsement for six years
SH: Are you ready for....
SH: METAL DADS?
DFH: fuck YEAH i was just looking for some
SH: BLEED THE FREAKS
DFH: Oh man, dadrock originals.
SH: i searched for "my dad's metal band"
SH: and this was a post on reddit
DFH: Backtats and beer hoodies
SH: they have a drum riser in their practice space, which is the mark of true professionals
SH: and definitely not the mark of sad old dads that want to pretend to be tommy lee while they drink by themselves and cry
DFH: Whoa, dad is grooving dangerously.
DFH: Like really dangerously, given his heart condition.
SH: this is cool cuz there are multiple dad-metal styles combining to form one dad-mass
SH: like the singer is on some Durst-Dad shit but the drummer is definitely more of a Buttafuoco
SH: These guys have "band meetings" where they make each other promise that the "band will always come first"
SH: Guys. First order of business: Brutally crushing riffs. Second: Totally head down to the man-cave and crack a few cold ones. Third: Argue about sports
DFH: So let me get this straight real fast - these guys were teenagers in the heyday of Iron Maiden and Judas Priest and this is the music they decide to make?
SH: well yeah, they're obviously trying to stay 'relevant' to the youth man
DFH: Their list of influences ends with "and whatever's on [frequency of local contemporary rock station]"
SH: you guys heard this new band Godsmack?
DFH: Following in Godsmack's footsteps, what do you think their band nicknames are?
SH: the singer is Fester for sure. A cool double meaning, and totally metal.
DFH: Drummer just goes by "Bam."
DFH: When Fester introduces him, he just says the word BAM, and what follows is the most brutal double-bass shit you've ever heard.
SH: LEAD GUITAR: Fingerz
SH: The stuff on the walls is what makes this video great. Nothing says "unchained aggression" than a dude throwing temper tantrums in front of a toy ukelele and a coors light sign
DFH: I was too distracted by the rock to even notice.
SH: this guy's dance moves remind me of something
SH: and i can't put my finger on it
SH: maybe an animatronic bear?
SH: oh yeah, that's it
SH: But like, epilepsy in half-time. Breakdown epilepsy.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Here are some cool music things, maybe u should check them out. And/or here are some terrible music things, maybe u should check them out if u like to laugh or maybe u should avoid them if u get really angry when u see something stupid.
Daryl 'Fucking' Hall and Satellite High riff on the worst music YouTube has to offer. Amateur covers, nerdcore rap, dadrock -- it's all here! Take a free ride!