My once best friend is a compulsive liar even when he's proven wrong. He tends to sleep around a lot so his life is pretty much bent on sexual conversation and activities so this was bound to happen..
Anyway, we've heard from his ex's that he has a very small penis, about 4 inches. So me and my best friend always made fun of this when he boasted his sex life and he denied even though every girl confirmed the same thing (so has my best friend, they've had a few threesomes together). Anyway, at some point he decided that he would tell people he's bigger than me since he knew my roundabout penis size because of one of my ex's being drunk(it's not bigger btw) So we'd go back n forth over this until one day he wanted to compare just to see who was really right. So I whipped out and after he saw it he refused to pull his out(I'm trying to make this as ungay as possibly). But even after that he continued to tell people this regardless of the truth..
He also tells people all his material is original but all he does is steal mine and my best friends original material. We catch him at least 4 times on any given day stealing our stuff and he actively denies it. So annoying.
Oh yes and he also denies very embarrassing stories even to people he's told them to before. He once told me he used to poke his brother in the ass when they took showers together but now denies that story. Also that he tried to do his dog and lets him lick peanut butter off his balls (who lets a dog near their balls??)
Calling him a "black hole of evil" is stupid. Pedophilia isn't even evil in its intent, it's just a sick perversion. This guy is just as much a victim of his mental disability as those children were of his sexual advances. He doesn't belong in prison, he belongs in a mental institution being studied and getting help.
We will never find a cure for a problem if we just keep sweeping it under a rug hoping it will go away. This would be very similar to throwing people with Asperger's, Schizophrenia, or even people with fetishes for things illegal in their state (anal sex) into jail. Jail isn't always the answer.
We either need to accept that some people are just different and make mistakes, or we need to develop a system to homogenize society; make become more "normal." If we can't do that then we should just accept them for their differences, not just kill those off we are scared of, don't understand, or simply find undesirable. Clearly, this doesn't just apply to mental disease.
I'm also going along with disliking the extreme cleanliness standard. The truth is, we're letting our immune systems wither away to nothing due to complete lack of exposure. When you expose your body to germs and contamination regularly, it'll beef itself up to compensate, making you get sick less often. You don't even need soap most of the time to wash your hands, just rubbing them in a bunch of dirt can often be just as effective. Yes, there are things like raw meats, shit and rotten corpses that you actually SHOULD clean yourself after handling, but that's different. Dammit, you don't fucking need Clorox wipes to clean up a little spilled cranberry juice or something.
Finally: an advice column for the rest of us! (Who seek to enslave humanity.)
Even the most fervent gun control advocate would admit that guns kill people, not other guns. We must become the guns we wish to see in the world.
A Goon outs himself as a wizard and gets a warm reception from the rogues/rangers/paladins gallery!
The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.