There's nothing more fun than trying to work and finish writing an article, when suddenly you're flooded with chat requests from an insane NIN fan who wants to talk about God knows what. At first I simply turned down the numerous requests, but then I got sick and tired of losing the battle, so I started another ICQ prank.

In this one I play the role of some insane, God-loving zealot, who I figured would be the opposite of any NIN fan. She seemed pretty much unfazed by the fact that I continually made up words, bogus scriptures, ficticious places, and weird people, so towards the end of the prank I even start misspelling the word "Jesus" to see if she reacted. Nothing. I guess her blackened spiral of angst and depression overrode any shreds of intelligence she had.


Lowtax - do you enjoy Jesus?

~^~NIN - What about him?

Lowtax - His love and light and the Book of the Word! Do you enjoy those songs?

~^~NIN - what songs?

Lowtax - "Jesus in the Fields" "Jesus From Love In the Caves" "Our Lord Saves Us Tonight, So Let us Dance" "Joy to the Joyous Word"

~^~NIN - i've neevr heard that song.

~^~NIN - alright then

Lowtax - What do you enjoy? Gospel?

~^~NIN - Metal

~^~NIN - punk

Lowtax - What kind of music is that, like "Backstreet Boys"? I do not know much about music.

~^~NIN - Nine Inch Nails, Blink-182, Coal Chamber, Staind, KoRn, Godsmack, Creed

Lowtax - Oh, I do not believe I have listened to that before. Do they use trumpets? I love trumpets, particularly the Trumpet of the Lord, beckoning us to feed Jesus's hungry mouth.

~^~NIN - they use guitars, drums, and bass

Lowtax - Oh, interesting. So what do you enjoy about these bands?

~^~NIN - their lyrics are meaningful, great sounds

Lowtax - What are your favorite lyrics? Could you copy some for me please? I would like to become cultured in your music, right now all I really listen to is Gospel and "Peter Norton's Funkified Jesus Groove Train".

~^~NIN - ok.

~^~NIN - here are some lyrics....

~^~NIN - you let me violate you you let me desecrate you you let me penetrate you you let me complicate you help me i broke apart my insides help me i've got no soul to sell help me the only thing that works for me help me get away from myself i wanna fuck you like an animal i wanna feel you from the inside i wanna fuck you like an animal my whole existence is flawed you get me closer to god

Lowtax - Wow, that is VERY offensive to the Word of God and his Trumpet of Wisdom. That is very filthy and I'm glad it's only by some band nobody has ever heard of, which probably only sells 3 or 4 records a year! VERY filthy!

~^~NIN - i'm sorry. But, no. They're a great band. Very talented. Sorry i offended you. I think those are great lyrics.

Lowtax - What do you feel is great about them? Don't you know that the Good Book of Dodecihedron says: "Dodecihedron, verses 43-76: And the Lord shall not useth thy Holy name in vain, else besooth to thy furious rage, a Kingdom of Eternalality shall be forgiven in the eyes of the Lord. Only in passion may the Devil penetrate our souls!" Those lyrics seem to go against this.

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