Pete - hi how are ya
Lowtax - Alright!
Pete - what are you doing on the internet
Lowtax - Cruising the virtual information superhighway
Pete - find anything interesting
Lowtax - Yes, a strategy guide for my favorite game, "Food Fight"
Pete - food fight? i have never heard of that game...what do you do in it?
Lowtax - Oh, it is most wonderous of video games! To be taking pies, lettuce, and tomatoes, then you throw them at chefs who try to attack you!!!
Pete - is it one of those dodgy mame games...you no the ones that are the really old arcade games?
Lowtax - YES I play those all the time at the airport because i used to clean out the ashtrays at the airport and i would play FOOD FIGHT and JUMP n BUMP!
Pete - are you still working at the airport?
Lowtax - NOo, I hate the airport now! I will never go back again
Pete - why? what happened?
Lowtax - VICTOR WEBSTER screwed me over. he took my job when i was working hard, but Mike LaRon decided to hire Victor over me because Victor didn't get locked in the parking garage all night like me
Pete - do you like the band primus?
Lowtax - NO. Hey where are do you live?
Pete - Brisbane.Queensland,Australia...where do you live?
Lowtax - California. I was just wondering, because there is something being strange up in the sky tonight and it does not look like a jet-car plane. i don't know what it could be
Pete - a cloud?
Lowtax - no, it is having red lights going flashing on the sides and i hear a humming noise!!! it is odd, maybe a helicopter?
Pete - the military might be doing experements...i hear they do that alot in USA
Lowtax - yes, i am near a base of the military. let me open my door and sees, is ok?
Lowtax - this my friend is odd
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.