Jeffery (Fragmaster) - OK great. I'll go ahead and set up your character since it takes a few days to process.
OK, You are Cliffy B, a mild-mannered young street thug. I'll start you off with enough pocket money to worm your way into a fancy throw-up joint, but you'll have to earn the rest on your knees like the real guy. The capsule will come with a hideous gold necklace you can put around your face and a pink cape. But if you don't like that character, you can pick another one later
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - have u played it
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - but im not shaw if my mum will let me uet dont get ahed of ur self
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - how do u pick new charicters
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - Yes, I have two characters. A terrorist and a magician. As a magician, I sell tires because I can't do any tricks. I have fifty dollars in my virtual bank account and my wife left me for a Heavy Weapons Guy. My terrorist character has a score of 4023 and a Cannon on his back. We're part of Team Berry, the biggest clan in the game. He also has a scar on his left nostril but it's hard to see unless I've killed you.
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - To pick a new character you just go to the menu and pick another one. But it takes awhile to build up a character since you need to find guns and do whatever else you want to do on your own. My terrorist character bought a gun from some dude named Balki, he was ridicious and I used the gun to kill his cousin Larry to test it out. And then I threw Balki out a window, a good time was had by all.
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - so how u change ur chariter and whats the cape and neck lase ????
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - Oh, the cape and necklace are just flair to help you get into the character. And if the door gets jammed, at least you have nice clothes ahead of time. You get five points of extra damage if you wear it too. And six intelligence points if you're a fireman by trade.
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - how do u get out if the door gets jamed
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - It's only happened once. You can play a piano within the game and when you do the souls of the people you've murdered float up into the air. Cool transparancy effect. I kill a lot of innocent bystanders in the game and play Chopsticks. It looks great! My grandpa has a character in the game who is a golfing old hag just like he is and I beat him to death on the golf course with the piano and then played a jolly ditty just to rub it in.
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - yer but how do you get out if the door jams
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - Well, I guess you'd have to wait for somebody to use the Explode Capsule powerup on you. It's the second most powerful powerup in the game, next to "Madness" and "Snide." The last guy who got detained within the capsule during a door malfunction didn't get blown up though, since the exploding capsule powerup is very rare. It's in the mountains next to the Ice Queen Wizard Trolloc Warrior Mage. He can no longer play the game, now.
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - thats bad it puts me off cant you just tern the game off and play with the door open
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - Heavens no! There would be no privacy for when you get busy, for one thing. And CliffyB will need privacy since he's a slut. We tried the same thing with Diablo II's Mutton Sword and ended up taking it out of the game. Besides, the door is a window to your soul, in the literal sense. So if we want to borrow that for awhile, we need the door to be closed so we can break-in with pickwedges. So are you ready to sign up?
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - i have to talk to my mum
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - oh, alright. But you will have a cape so you won't die with disgrace. We'll pay for coffins too, because we make them out of old motor oil cans in the back of our office. After we steal your soul, you won't want your body anyway. This game is really fun and voluptious level designer Stevie "Killcreek" Case says it's the "most fun you can have without sleeping with long-haired hippies!"
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - i got to go now i will talk to you later after i have talked to my mum seya later Jeffery
Jeffery (Fragmaster) - cya!
[FFE][Mad-Keg] - i have to ask my perents
This is your typical consumer model throne. If you just want a cheap prop, it's fine. If you want to actually sit like a king, pony up the cash and get yourself a prosumer model. This entry level stuff is more for a duke or baron at best.
Do you wish to know what computers will be doing in the year to come? With a sigh I shall exert the minimal effort it takes to reveal all. Feel free to print out these predictions and share them with your friends via fax.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.