Roy - Hello sir!
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Lowtax - Life insurance?!? What the hell are you insinuating? Who the hell is this?
Roy - Just somebody whose looking to provide you with the best deal on Life Insurance out there, sir!
Lowtax - Marge?
Roy - No, this is Roy.
Lowtax - Oh. Where's Marge?
Roy - Who's Marge?
Lowtax - The lady who contacted me before, saying she could offer the best deal on life insurance.
Roy - What site did she ask you to go to?
Lowtax - Well Roy, to tell you the truth, I didn't appreciate her attitude and snippiness, so I didn't visit whatever terrible site she was trying to get me to visit. I think she was a charlatan and a miscreant, Roy. Tell me Roy, are you being straight with me?
Roy - If I wasn't do you think Id bother to ICQ with with a link to the webpage?
Lowtax - I don't know Roy, there are a lot of shysters on the Internet these days, trying to trick people and lie to them so they may profit. I hope you're not one of those people and are being straight with me, Roy.
Roy - I know what you mean, I've ran into thoes kind of ppl before, believe you me. : )
Lowtax - May I call you Roy?
Roy - That's my name! : P
Lowtax - Thanks Roy. So now what are you talking about this life insurance scheme, Roy?
Roy - Well it's not a "sceme". It's term life insurance over the net and it works. We offer the best pricing and deals on life insurance. If you give me some of your personal data, I can get a quote to you so youll know how much $$$ you'll save!
Lowtax - Woah there, hold on a second Roy. I don't want people knowing my personal data and shit like that. My company would fire me in a Redbook second if they knew I got the disease from Maria.
Roy - No sir, I was talking about your state, birthdate, sex, and things like that.
Lowtax - Dammit Roy, I already said I'm not talking to you about my sex life. There are some things you don't ask a man over the Inter-Net about, and that's one of them. Roy. You're overstepping your bounds here, Roy, just like Marge did, and I never ended up clicking her link. You can expect the same with your attitude!
Roy - Sir, I meant your gender, not your sex life.
Lowtax - Gender? Is that Polish?
Roy - If your a male or female.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.