Roy - Hello sir!
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Lowtax - Life insurance?!? What the hell are you insinuating? Who the hell is this?
Roy - Just somebody whose looking to provide you with the best deal on Life Insurance out there, sir!
Lowtax - Marge?
Roy - No, this is Roy.
Lowtax - Oh. Where's Marge?
Roy - Who's Marge?
Lowtax - The lady who contacted me before, saying she could offer the best deal on life insurance.
Roy - What site did she ask you to go to?
Lowtax - Well Roy, to tell you the truth, I didn't appreciate her attitude and snippiness, so I didn't visit whatever terrible site she was trying to get me to visit. I think she was a charlatan and a miscreant, Roy. Tell me Roy, are you being straight with me?
Roy - If I wasn't do you think Id bother to ICQ with with a link to the webpage?
Lowtax - I don't know Roy, there are a lot of shysters on the Internet these days, trying to trick people and lie to them so they may profit. I hope you're not one of those people and are being straight with me, Roy.
Roy - I know what you mean, I've ran into thoes kind of ppl before, believe you me. : )
Lowtax - May I call you Roy?
Roy - That's my name! : P
Lowtax - Thanks Roy. So now what are you talking about this life insurance scheme, Roy?
Roy - Well it's not a "sceme". It's term life insurance over the net and it works. We offer the best pricing and deals on life insurance. If you give me some of your personal data, I can get a quote to you so youll know how much $$$ you'll save!
Lowtax - Woah there, hold on a second Roy. I don't want people knowing my personal data and shit like that. My company would fire me in a Redbook second if they knew I got the disease from Maria.
Roy - No sir, I was talking about your state, birthdate, sex, and things like that.
Lowtax - Dammit Roy, I already said I'm not talking to you about my sex life. There are some things you don't ask a man over the Inter-Net about, and that's one of them. Roy. You're overstepping your bounds here, Roy, just like Marge did, and I never ended up clicking her link. You can expect the same with your attitude!
Roy - Sir, I meant your gender, not your sex life.
Lowtax - Gender? Is that Polish?
Roy - If your a male or female.
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.