Oh, and you may notice the date on the letter is from July 26, 2004. Oops. I kinda forgot about this lawsuit threat until I went through my tax folders here and found this folded up in the back of it. Oh well, it's NEW TO YOU! For bonus humor, check out the emails he labels as "HATE MAIL" and his battle to contact the FTC, BBB, and the California State Attorney General... ABOUT AN IMAGE ON A HUMOR WEBSITE. My reply to the Attorney General of New York can be seen on the last page; click any image for a larger, easier-to-read version.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Many people love to threaten to sue us. Luckily we have both Leonard "J." Crabs and common sense on our side, thus enabling us to easily defeat such trivialities. Remember - when you're on the Internet, you can threaten to sue for anything!