Oh, and you may notice the date on the letter is from July 26, 2004. Oops. I kinda forgot about this lawsuit threat until I went through my tax folders here and found this folded up in the back of it. Oh well, it's NEW TO YOU! For bonus humor, check out the emails he labels as "HATE MAIL" and his battle to contact the FTC, BBB, and the California State Attorney General... ABOUT AN IMAGE ON A HUMOR WEBSITE. My reply to the Attorney General of New York can be seen on the last page; click any image for a larger, easier-to-read version.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
Many people love to threaten to sue us. Luckily we have both Leonard "J." Crabs and common sense on our side, thus enabling us to easily defeat such trivialities. Remember - when you're on the Internet, you can threaten to sue for anything!