My HIGHLY OFFICIAL and WELL RESEARCHED reply to the Attorney General of New York, regarding Mr. Felix Yukilevich:
I haven't heard back from the State of New York or Felix yet, so I guess I won by default. Either that or Felix has moved on to bigger and more important things, such as trying to successfully open his front door without requiring the assistance of several trained men.- Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Many people love to threaten to sue us. Luckily we have both Leonard "J." Crabs and common sense on our side, thus enabling us to easily defeat such trivialities. Remember - when you're on the Internet, you can threaten to sue for anything!