My HIGHLY OFFICIAL and WELL RESEARCHED reply to the Attorney General of New York, regarding Mr. Felix Yukilevich:
I haven't heard back from the State of New York or Felix yet, so I guess I won by default. Either that or Felix has moved on to bigger and more important things, such as trying to successfully open his front door without requiring the assistance of several trained men.- Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka
Want to take part in our much-publicized trade in program to swap an old tablet or video game for in-store credit? Great! We just need your license, home phone number, email address, work number, and your fingerprints. We might even take a mugshot of you.
Are you ready to be consistently depressed by how you're throwing your money and life away? Check out Loot Crate's 2015 lineup of upcoming crates!
Many people love to threaten to sue us. Luckily we have both Leonard "J." Crabs and common sense on our side, thus enabling us to easily defeat such trivialities. Remember - when you're on the Internet, you can threaten to sue for anything!