Hydrogen: Hercules: The Missing Bar Fights, starring Mr. Kevin Sorbo!
Trillaphon: I think pineapple Sorbo's my favorite.
Hydrogen: The Kevin flavor is a little too bitter for my taste. Also, pathetic. Well, more pathetic.
Trillaphon: More pathetic than cherry?
Hydrogen: I was going to say "than he already was", but I guess that works too.
Trillaphon: Hard to believe they didn't manage to drag Lucy Lawless into this debacle, too. I applaud her good judgment for staying far the fuck away from this movie, and not just because I don't want to get my balls chopped off by a magical flying frisbee blade.
Hydrogen: Maybe she's just been too busy doing things like working and occasionally being on TV instead.
Trillaphon: Uh, excuse me, that's no way to talk about the man who has 18 fucking projects in some level of production going right now.
Hydrogen: Jesus, he's like Nicolas Cage without the talent/Oscar. At least half of those must be sub-SyFyeyy original quality.
Trillaphon: Goddamn it, now they're going to make us watch all of them. The only thing that'll make me feel better is watching this new stress-relief video of Kevin Sorbo getting punched in the face over and over again. Payback's a wench:
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It is 2016. I think it is high time that Captain America have a dog man as a boyfriend.
A brave pop culture addict puts his foot down once and for all.
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