Hydrogen: I always knew CGI lens flares would destroy the Earth one day.

Trillaphon: That lens flare is just a side effect. If you watch closely, you'll see that the Earth was clearly blown up by a giant version of one of those crappy little 99-cent plastic disc guns that annoying people like to bring to the office.

Hydrogen: So does that mean the interstellar battleship belongs to the Dollar Store Empire, or the Dollar Tree Continuum?

Trillaphon: Nope, both of them were eliminated by the Dollar General Galactic Confederation. Poor bastards never saw it coming; the Dollar Generals were developing anti-uranium torpedoes in clear violation of the Zaxonia Conventions of 2849.

Hydrogen: That would be the stupidest sci-fi plot I had ever heard, if we hadn't already seen the Recon series.

Trillaphon: Speaking of ridiculously complicated galaxy-spanning sci-fi backstories, I'm so glad they took all this time to explain some deep backstory mythos, and then just totally ignored it so they could show people wandering around a desert in silence for a solid fucking hour.

More Reviews [Movies]

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.