Hydrogen: I wish she had gone into "Kombat mode" instead, then she could have yelled "GET OVER HERE" and torn his still-beating heart out with her bare hands.
Hydrogen: At least this is a short break from the unending boredom of the other 600 hours of desert-hiking footage.
Trillaphon: Did you know this movie was actually adapted from the wildly popular TV version?
Hydrogen: There's a TV show?
Trillaphon: Well, I dunno if you could call it a show, exactly; it's more like the Iranian equivalent of that 24/7 yuletide log channel. "Moods of the Desert - Ambient Sandscapes for Every Occasion."
Hydrogen: I dunno, that sounds more like a Kenny G album title to me.
Trillaphon: If only Kenny G were a smelly goat-herding nomad instead, just think how much better the world would be.
Hydrogen: You're just trying to get a death-sentence fatwa put on you at this point, aren't you?
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.