Trillaphon: Wait, what the fuck? Are we sure this is still the same movie?
Hydrogen: The irony of a movie that wants to be a video game this badly trying to make some kind of ham-fisted social commentary about video games replacing reality is just mind-shattering.
Trillaphon: I'd rather see them switch to this Xena ripoff game/movie/soap opera than go back to "Infinity Desert 8" like they've been doing.
Hydrogen: "Infinity Desert 8," now with new soul-sucking technology that makes it seem like time has come to a complete stop! Order now!
Trillaphon: I'd ask if this scene was really part of the director's vision, but I'm only about 60% sure this movie had a director at this point.
Hydrogen: My guess is the director wandered off the set on the first day in the middle of a desert establishing shot, leaving the cameras and crew behind so he could spend the shoot spinning around in his chair while making laser "pew pew" sounds and miming explosions with his hands.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.