Trillaphon: Wait, what the fuck? Are we sure this is still the same movie?
Hydrogen: The irony of a movie that wants to be a video game this badly trying to make some kind of ham-fisted social commentary about video games replacing reality is just mind-shattering.
Trillaphon: I'd rather see them switch to this Xena ripoff game/movie/soap opera than go back to "Infinity Desert 8" like they've been doing.
Hydrogen: "Infinity Desert 8," now with new soul-sucking technology that makes it seem like time has come to a complete stop! Order now!
Trillaphon: I'd ask if this scene was really part of the director's vision, but I'm only about 60% sure this movie had a director at this point.
Hydrogen: My guess is the director wandered off the set on the first day in the middle of a desert establishing shot, leaving the cameras and crew behind so he could spend the shoot spinning around in his chair while making laser "pew pew" sounds and miming explosions with his hands.
I have raised over $300 participating in quilting bees for the American Quilting Bee Society so I think I deserve at least seven minutes of your time.
Ernest Cline, writer of Ready Player One, shares his newest poem.
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.