Hydrogen: "You get to watch...uh, line? You get to watch me blow her BRAIN...S...UP?" And that's the take they went with, ladies and gentlemen.
Trillaphon: With every clip we watch I'm a little more convinced that there was never an actual director and this whole thing was just some sort of spontaneous anarcho-communal street theater flash mob clusterfuck.
Hydrogen: "I've got more than a newspaper, and you get to guess what it is! Oh I'm tired of waiting, SURPRISE it's a gun!"
Trillaphon: "I've got something big and hard in my pants, and it isn't my penis, but is in fact a gun, instead."
Trillaphon: "...wait, how does this joke go again? Let me start over. Today's top story: This Gun I'm Holding, no, wait..."
Hydrogen: There's just no fucking way anyone involved in making this movie has ever had an actual conversation with another human being.
Trillaphon: Or overheard one, or read about one in passing.
Hydrogen: QUO PASO?! QUE PASO?!
Is the world ready for Staind By Me, St@nd By e-Me, and Crank 3: Stand By Me?
Finally: an advice column for the rest of us! (Who seek to enslave humanity.)
A Goon outs himself as a wizard and gets a warm reception from the rogues/rangers/paladins gallery!
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.