Deeply trusting in the prophecies of an insane psychic hermit wizard who went into hiding for two decades just to show up 5 minutes too late to the party and then throw himself into a bonfire in disgrace, the twins set off on a journey...of vengeance. Vengeance and uncomfortable self-discovery. And a smidgen of heavily-implied bestiality. And bottomless stupidity. Definitely vengeance, though. Their companions are the viking dwarf and all-purpose homicidal maniac Baldar Plotdeviceo, his perpetually horny man-goat servant Pando Palrissian, and jocky jocular barbarian with jock itch Erlick, a.k.a. Deathstalker Jr. Jr., a weaselly little jagoff who inspires almost as much white-hot hatred as Donald Trump (but without the hilarious tweets).
Our setting is the kingdom of Propecia, deep within the rich, rolling nothings of Frumpistan. The only instructions given to the costume department for this one must have been "beards, and lots of 'em". Which really just makes the twins' wondrous cross-dressing disguise that much stupider since it doesn't even include a fake goddamn beard.
Aside from luxurious facial hair, the most notable feature of Frumpistan is its whimsical justice system, in which punishments vary from chopping off hands for stealing food all the way up to rectal impalement on a splintery, wooden stake for...cheating at dice? That seems just slightly off. We can only assume that the penalty for murder is a small fine and a swift pat on the buttocks, and God help you if you get caught jaywalking.
Of course, no enchanted kingdom would be complete without some kind of horrible abomination of a creature wandering around, and the perverted creatures of Sorceress bring "abomination" to a whole new level of irreversible psychological scarring. First there's gorilla homunculus Hunnu, whose promised reward for kidnapping the twins is getting to drag the unsacrificed one back to his smelly cave for a lifetime of perpetual rape. Somehow even grosser than that is aforementioned goat-monster Pando, who has Faust's death mask welded onto his face and spends 100% of his time peeping at naked women - and probably clothed women - while masturbating furiously, and doing this:
At least Hunnu and Pando managed to find common ground in their gross perversion, and at their behest an army of goats, monkeys, and some random extras converge on the palace for the final showdown of utter confusion, which goes a little something like this:
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The velvet hoods are now mandatory for all classes and on-campus activities. Do not remove them for any reason.
We're not going to solve gun massacres with bad manners, people.
A sign proclaiming "BACTA: DA FUTURE" marks the town's medical clinic
1998: I upload dave.pcx, and change the course of history
Set goals for yourself, and fulfill them. Absurd! Only in video games!
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