Haymaker: In the meantime, let's go check in with our other competitors. Who've we got next?
The Vein: Our first challenger is Nick "The Narco" DiMarco, one of UWCSIFMPPD's finest - a real municipal nutbuster, and we do mean that literally:
The Vein: Some of you out there might know him as Magnum K.O.; Detective Harry Manbody; The Dick with the Kick;
Haymaker: Knuckleberry Finn; The Copper With the Bopper; Inspector Connecter; The Po-Po with the Low Blow. But enough nicknames, let's move on to the man himself.
Haymaker: Ah, the classic Liu Kang look, a great choice for any occasion.
The Vein: Finish it with a little chest hair and a conspicuous crucifix to add that God-fearing American good guy flavor and you're ready to be Undefeatable in style.
Haymaker: A real class act - and of course, like any true warrior, less is more; I mean what's the point of spending 126 hours a week in the gym-dojo if you're just going to insult your body by hiding it under a shirt all the time?
The Vein: A lot of sickos out there these days Hank. Now, am I correct in assuming that this incredibly cool and realistic-looking routine he's doing here is standard police training?
Haymaker: That's absolutely right Zane - rigorous martial arts training is a part of every officer's daily routine (and indeed spiritual way of life) in the greater Undisclosed West-Compton Storage & Industrial Fumigant Manufacturing Park metropolitan area.
Haymaker: The form we see here is a savagely beautiful, almost poetically fluid blending of styles, most notably Bear Claw and Crouching Sow.
The Vein: Truly poetry in motion, Haymaker. But as we all know, he won't have to take on the champ on his own. Introducing our second challenger, she's the Sassy Lassie from Tallahassee, Florida, Kristi..."Lady Macdeth"...Joooooooones!
Haymaker: She's new to the circuit, but still a dangerous opponent in any industrial warehouse.
The Vein: Absolutely right Haymaker, she's known back home as the "hooker with a heart of steel", of course referring to her signature weapon, the hookswords! Just watch as this Skirt with the Hurt puts on a dazzling display of defiant daring by executing a perfect defensive 360 reverse office chair kick:
Haymaker: Hide your doilies, ladies, because there's a new piece of China in town!
The Vein: You lost me a little on that one, Hank, but I think we can both agree that this is shaping up to be a showdown for the history books tonight in the Killodrome. And there's the starting bell, let's get down to the floor for our main event!