Haymaker: History in the making here, ladies and gentleman. Looks like he's about to take on his first challenger, who we've been told is a special surprise mystery fighter; here he comes now and - is that? IT IS! It's reigning World Karate Champion Yip Yap Fun, this should be one hell of a-
The Vein: Ooh! That's gotta hurt - beautifully executed Pole Plinker from the mullet master, things are not looking good for the challenger here Hank.
Haymaker: Certainly not Vein, he just cannot get a blow in; looks like he chose the wrong parking garage to neck with his girlfriend who vaguely resembles Stingray's wife in today!
The Vein: Most of you fight fans out there will recognize this as a classic Stingray move from his infamous '89 semi-pro circuit of the Laplasta Plaza Shopping Centre.
Haymaker: Oh absolutely Zane, it's a classic improv variation on his patented Asian Pole Jazz style, which he first perfected right outside the Henderson Premium Lighting Fixture Emporium as you can see here:
The Vein: Ah, that takes me back.
The Vein: Uh oh, I think he might be setting up for, YES HE IS, HERE IT COMES FOLKS, THE SIGNATURE FINISHER:
Haymaker: Ouch! Now you see him, now you don't! Ah Ha Ha Ah Ha.
The Vein: Ha Ha Ha Ha, Ah. And there you have it gore fans, just like that, reigning World Karate Champion Yip Yap Fun proving to be very defeatable indeed.
Haymaker: Just like that, enucleated and kicked off a roof like yesterday's garbage. It's a sad, throwaway culture we live in, Vein.
The Vein: It sure is Haymaker. But seriously though, our deepest condolences go out to the champ's loved ones, who as we speak are almost definitely being mutilated and defiled in a similar fashion.