Why are robots always trying to gain some kind of humanity? Only a few hundred years ago, I could wake up, get a drink from my Mr. Coffee machine, have sex with my Mr. Coffee machine (thanks to Vagotronic™ technology now found in most household appliances), and be about my business. Now, it won’t stop asking me questions. “What are you thinking about?” “Do you want to take a walk later?” Give me a break! STOSSEL_PROTOCOL_OVERLOAD_And no matter where I go, the robots are always so sad. Cheer up, you perverse parodies of humanity! After all, you’re the ones in charge! If I had dangerous shadow lasers built into my weapons systems, I’d certainly have a spring in my step! I mean, the only defense I have is the ability to shoot hot custard from my hydraulic knee units. And I also have to use those to feed myself!
WHINE_OVERLOAD_REACHED_SHUTDOWN_IMMINENT_And what about porch swings? And coffee that’s too hot? Or people that don’t use turn signals? Or President Ford? Outlaw plastics! Legalize murder! Murder. Kill. Murder. Kill. Murder. Kill. Murder. Kill. Murder. Kill. Murder. Kill. Murder. Kill. Murderkill. I’m a good boy!
Finding the right hat can feel like walking through a minefield for guys. Did a murderer wear your hat? Was it ruined by bros? Are you just an idiot? Find out with our authoritative ranking of bad hats.
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
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