The Fanime merchant room is a truly amazing place, filled with all kinds of booths selling anime DVDs (we checked- the animes are in order), gay anime porn, action figures, straight anime porn, swords, comics, more swords, more gay anime porn and… what's this? Corsets!

I've never worn a corset before, so here's my big chance. I immediately hit it off with this fancy fellow. He's probably the coolest guy I met at the convention; even though I'm a total corset novice, he cheerfully and patiently explains how corsets work, why it's important for a man to have one (it turns out they give you that sleek military profile that makes the girls swoon), and how they work. I tell him that I'm probably a little too big for a corset, but he's more than happy to prove me wrong.

It doesn't even hurt when he tightens up the laces! Look how cheerful this guy is. This is a man who truly delights in his work. If you ever buy a corset, I insist that you buy it from this man.

Well, look at that! I cut a fine figure, don't I? I contemplate buying a corset, but decide that my bosoms are sultry enough without artificial enhancement. Maybe next time, my mustachioed friend!

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.