The Fanime merchant room is a truly amazing place, filled with all kinds of booths selling anime DVDs (we checked- the animes are in order), gay anime porn, action figures, straight anime porn, swords, comics, more swords, more gay anime porn and… what's this? Corsets!
I've never worn a corset before, so here's my big chance. I immediately hit it off with this fancy fellow. He's probably the coolest guy I met at the convention; even though I'm a total corset novice, he cheerfully and patiently explains how corsets work, why it's important for a man to have one (it turns out they give you that sleek military profile that makes the girls swoon), and how they work. I tell him that I'm probably a little too big for a corset, but he's more than happy to prove me wrong.
It doesn't even hurt when he tightens up the laces! Look how cheerful this guy is. This is a man who truly delights in his work. If you ever buy a corset, I insist that you buy it from this man.
Well, look at that! I cut a fine figure, don't I? I contemplate buying a corset, but decide that my bosoms are sultry enough without artificial enhancement. Maybe next time, my mustachioed friend!
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
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